Struggling against the almighty tides of eventuality

Tomorrow I’m going to be playing on a concert in Towson. I really should be practicing, but instead I’ve decided to write a blog. My priorities: not very well in order. However, I think it’ll probably be fine. One of my pieces is not memorized (which is particularly weird because I wrote it), but it’ll be fine cause it’s just one page. Also, I might be able to finish sticking it back in my head; again, it’s only one page.

The bigger thing for me is that I’m finally gonna get back out there and play some music. My tendency to shy away from any performing has been more successful than I’d hoped. The last time I played a serious performance outside of a brief annual harp ensemble recital or even a gig, well, I can’t even remember.

This year I’ve asked to play more pieces than I have in the past. I feel a little bit like I’ll be taking over the program for a little while, and that doesn’t sit particularly well with me, but nobody has seemed to mind. I’m used to playing things a bit more cautiously, and trying really hard not to offend people with excessive hubris. It’s a trait I tend to find annoying, but many people around me have hubris in almost sickening volume and I seem to be the only one who cares, so I’m dipping my toe into the water. And it’s panning out thus far.

I don’t feel I’ve prepared as fully as I would really have liked for this performance, in all honesty. I think that the pieces, while good, could be far better. Of course, there’s always room for improvement in every performance, but I played one of them for another performer today after rehearsal, and she said it sounded good. So, I’m going to try not being so very nervous, and hope for the best. I’ve tried a bit more than normal to get people to come to this performance, and hopefully it’ll turn out and I’ll be a big hit. I’m still a bit nervous though.

T minus 15 hours.

So, I’m trying to get back to this whole harp thing, you know, playing music.  I periodically get an itch to go back to my former glory days when I was actually a pretty talented motherfucker.  Well, I probably won’t ever be quite where I was, but I’d like to think that maybe I can get back at least a little of what I’ve lost.  I actually managed to stuff Handel’s B flat Concerto in my head and in my fingers for all of a week or so this summer.  Of course, it was quite far from performance-ready, and has since largely gone away again, but it gave me hope.

I’ll probably stow away the Handel for a while; for now, I’m setting my sights on another piece.  This one I already learned in college, but I enjoyed it and I think re-learning something is almost as good as learning something completely new when you’re at the terrible level I’m at now.  The piece is Benjamin Britten’s Suite for Harp, and here’s a (link to a, wordpress is sucking) video of Catrin Finch playing the first movement: Music!

It certainly won’t be anywhere near that level for a while, but I hope to keep plugging away at it and get pretty decent.  The other movements are also pretty tricky though, so it’ll take a while.  The patience to learn a piece is the main thing I’ve got to get back, the skills will come with time.

At least, that’s what I’m hoping.